7 Inch Of The Month Club

7 Inch Of The Month Club was a series of twelve 7" colored records published by between February 2005 and January 2006, available through a paid subscription which could had been purchased via their webstore.
Subsequent black vinyl repressings do not belong to this series (nor are Club Editions).
For the 2019 edition, see .

The joke that is spread out across the runout etchings of these 7"s is as follows:
[#1A]: A PUNK, A RABBI AND A REPUBLICAN WALK INTO A BAR...
[#1B]: THEY SEAT THEMSELVES AS FAR AWAY FROM ONE ANOTHER AS POSSIBLE...
[#2A]: THE BARTENDER ASKS THE PUNK FOR HIS ORDER, "ONE SHOT OF WHISKEY"
[#2B]: THE BARTENDER SMILES AND SAYS. "ONE SHOT OF WHISKEY COMING RIGHT UP"
[#3A]: AS THE BARTENDER WALKS BACK TO THE BAR, THE RABBI BEGINS TO CHANT A PRAYER...
[#3B]: THE PUNK ROLLS HIS EYES AND MUTTERS UNDER HIS BREATH. "SHUT UP OLD MAN"...
[#4A]: THE BARTENDER SAYS "YOU CAN'T SPEAK TO MY CUSTOMERS THAT WAY."
[#4B]: THE PUNK DOWNS HIS WHISKEY AND SAYS, "SORRY BUT THE RABBI'S A FUCKIN' DOUCHE BAG..."
[#5A]: THE REPUBLICAN SAYS TO THE BAR TENDER, "GET THAT ASSHOLE OUTTA HERE!"...
[#5B]: THE PUNK HEARS THIS AND SAYS, "I MAY BE AN ASSHOLE BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT A DOUCHE BAG"...
[#6A]: THE BARTENDER TURNS TO THE REPUBLICAN AND TELLS HIM "YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE"...
[#6B]: THEN THE BARTENDER AND THE PUNK BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THE REPUBLICAN...
[#7A]: "THEN THEY KICK THE REPUBLICAN OUT OF THE BAR..."
[#7B]: THE RABBI THEN ASKS, "WHY DID YOU KICK THAT MAN OUT OF THE BAR?"
[#8A]: THE PUNK REPLIES, "CUZ HE'S A REPUBLICAN. YOU FUCKIN' DOUCHEBAG!"
[#8B]: THE BARTENDER SLAMS A BOTTLE TO THE BAR AND SAYS...
[#9A]: I TOLD YOU THAT YOU MUST RESPECT MY CUSTOMERS
[#9B]: THE PUNK REPLIES, "I DO RESPECT YOUR CUSTOMERS."
[#10A]: "I'M JUST SAYING THAT THE RABBI IS A DOUCHE BAG"
[#10B]: "OK, YOU'RE OUTTA HERE" SAYS THE BARTENDER AS HE KICKS THE PUNK
[#11A]: THE BARTENDER APOLOGIZES TO THE RABBI AND SAYS...
[#11B]: "LET ME GET YOU A DRINK ON THE HOUSE. WHAT'LL YOU HAVE ?"
[#12A]: THE RABBI REPLIES: "I'LL HAVE A VINEGAR AND WATER"
[#12B]: (no etching)